I think sometimes we get stuck in our own heads. I’ve been lately feeling blue, blah, blasé. I tried to write it out. I tried to joke it out. I tried to just get over it. I said to people I trust, “I’m sad,” in the hopes that putting it into the universe would make it go away. There are reasons, of course, of which I have addressed on here already. I didn’t get chosen for things I wanted, I lost things both physical and metaphorical. I’ve had some personal stress and it’s almost the anniversary of my dog’s death. These are legitimate enough complaints. But still, I didn’t realize how much it was all culminating until I made a self-deprecating joke and my son schooled me. “You’re being negative,” he said. “Stop.” On one hand, I was annoyed. Is my sadness bothering you? Tough. Be empathetic. But on the other hand, he had a point. I was only focusing on what was wrong. I had lost the ability to see what was going right. I was allowing a few setbacks to set the stage for all future performance of my life.
Today, I received two handmade cards from students. They made them in a different class and were instructed to make them for their favorite teacher. Two kids think I’m the best! They made me holiday cards wishing me a good break and a lot of presents! Ain’t that something? Why should that get less attention than what I don’t have? My son is right. I need to focus on the positives. I have friends. I have family coming to see me soon. I have a husband who thinks I’m the bee’s knees. I have lost 40 pounds this year and have finally got my eating in check with the whole 30. I have had over 600 people read my little corner of the Internet since I started this blog! There is so much good all around and for me to be hanging out at my own pity party is ridiculous. No more! Party is over. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. I’m going to end 2015 with a gratitude attitude. Every day I’m going to make myself be conscious of at least 3 wonderful things or people that I have in my life. Thank you all for reading and commenting and just being you. This month and forever may you see the kindness shining, even when it’s camaflouged by gloom. Xoxo
julie is the bee's knees 