Recent Rejection (and Rallying)

I always know how to comfort others when things don’t go their way. I’m good with a thoughtful cheer up gift or a platitude to raise the spirit. I believe in the redemption and triumph of the human spirit. It’s a little harder to remember such kindness towards myself. Personally and professionally, this has been a hard week. Things have not been going my way. Remember when I said things were possibilities for the future in my last post?  Well, for the most part, they’re not anymore.  One thing I was looking forward to was the Olympia qualifier for the Women of the World Poetry Slam.  The WOWPS will be in Brooklyn in March. If you live near there, you should definitely go and see the best women slammers from all over compete for the title. Locally, I competed against 4 unbelievably talented poets and I definitely feel that any of them would have deserved a win. For the victor, I have nothing but total joy, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being a little disappointed that I came in last, even if I do agree with the judgement (those poets spit FIRE).  Then, the next day, I received a rejection letter from a writing residency I was really hoping to get and had been checking snail and e-mail obsessively for for a month. Rationally, I understand that any artistic endeavor will come with more rejection than acceptance, but it’s still been a little dejecting. Add to that, I lost a favorite earring, one that I got in New Orleans years ago, and work has been a little trying lately as well. It’s just been a defeating week all around and it’s kind of bummed me out. We’re also coming up on the one year anniversary of our dog’s death. Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas and bah humbug, one and all.

But, of course, all is not misery and defeat. My husband and I went to see a play in Seattle last night and we got to finally eat at Paseo, the home of what is said to be a life changing sandwich. The sandwich was good, but honestly, my life feels the same as it did prior and it probably wasn’t worth being the 20% off-paleo meal of my 80/20 lifestyle, although it’s always fun to eat at a bucket list restaurant. If you do want a life changing sandwich, and you’re in Seattle, go to Seattle Deli in the International District and get a pork bahn mi (and a sesame ball for dessert). That will change your life and will cost under $5 to boot. Trust. It was nice to have a little date night with my guy, and we realized that in our 14 years together we have sat in countless tiny theaters watching performances by unknown artists, some terrible and some wonderful. Our history has been threaded with questionable and delightful entertainment. We both feel that when our son is enrolled in college we should move from our sweet little suburb to a city so that we can continue to keep this up with less of a commute.

Other joy to drown out the blues: A few  girlfriends and I had a holiday get together where we baked and decorated Christmas cookies. That definitely helped me get into the right spirit. And, of course, it’s almost Christmas which brings with it friends and family  whom I don’t see nearly often enough. All of which is to say I’m down but not out and I know that there is still a lot to look forward to even with the loss of other things. Still, I hope your week has been going smoother than mine. Tell me about it in the comments!

Happy Hannukah!

 

Merry Christmas!

 

My number one gun eating a caribbean sandwich.

 

Paseo sandwich. Pork, carmelized onions, jalepeno, lettuce, mayo, baguette.

 

What’s better than cookies and friends?

 

Oh, silly Fremont. Fascism meets festivity.

 

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